


Moving Forward

by abysmallydull



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-29
Updated: 2012-11-02
Packaged: 2017-10-28 10:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/306959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abysmallydull/pseuds/abysmallydull
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Squall and Laguna after they learn that they are father and son.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Squall couldn’t quite believe that the man standing before him now, the president of Esthar, the man who occupied his dreams for so many nights as a Galbadian soldier, is his biological father. He was never one to believe in fate, but it does look like it’s enjoying itself immensely at his expense. As a Galbadian soldier, Laguna was clumsy. It seemed almost miraculous that he was able to complete his missions. As the president of Esthar, he proved capable, leading the country to great technological prosperity, albeit keeping the nation secluded from the rest of the world. As a friend, he was someone who will get you into trouble as he had seen in his dreams, but he is also someone who is fiercely loyal and protective. As a father, well, frankly Squall had no idea.

“Squall,” Laguna said, and in just one word and one look, he had managed to convey happiness, longing, hesitation, and uncertainty. He is a very expressive man, completely different from the other adults Squall knows. He is a very open and honest man, who doesn’t let convention, rules, or anything else keep him from expressing what it is he feels. In some ways, he is just like a child. Overall, he is someone Squall has no idea how to deal with.

Courtesy dictates that he at least acknowledge the other man, and while he is not one to follow rules of social conduct, in this instance, he is glad for them because they tell him what to do in an otherwise incomprehensible situation.

He gave a nod to acknowledge Laguna, and stood there watching him warily. He’s not used to being so off-balanced. He watched the other man lick his lips nervously and shift his weight from his left to his right foot. He can clearly see the signs of discomfort. He doesn’t want to make the other man feel more awkward, but he has no idea what he can do. He supposed his staring is not helping, but he can’t help it. His instincts are telling him to keep his eye on this man; he isn’t a threat physically, but mentally, that’s another subject.

“You’ve heard, of course, from Ellone?”

Again, another small nod from Squall. He can’t speak now; there are no words.

Laguna scratched the back of his head and cleared his throat nervously. “I know that I’m 17 years too late. I’m so sorry. But it’s great to finally meet you…Squall.”

Squall heard the hesitation, and he mentally filled in the words ‘my son’. It was strange to think of this man as his father.

“I don’t need apologies,” Squall said instead, and immediately knew that it wasn’t the right thing to say once he saw Laguna flinch as if he’d hit him. He only wanted to say, Laguna needn’t apologize for anything; he understood the circumstances. It was something he knew the other man didn’t wish for and couldn’t possibly change now. He tried again.

“I didn’t need a father.” It was true. He grew up in an orphanage with a kind matron and other orphans, friends. Ah, but it looks like he’d landed his second blow on Laguna, and this one was harder than the first. He was making a complete hash of everything. This is really not his area. He sighed, crossed his arms, and looked away. Better not to say anything more than risk making things worse than they already are.

“I understand that you probably don’t want anything to do with me. I abandoned you and your mother. But please let me try to make this right,” Laguna said, pleading.

Squall shook his head. No, Laguna didn’t understand. He wasn’t about to start feeling hurt about the past he can barely remember. But he did want to change the future. After going through the ordeal with Ultimecia, losing and finding his friends, he knew then that he can change and he didn’t always have to be on the outside, looking in. It is hard to keep trying when you’re not in mortal peril and when you don’t have adrenalin running through your veins. But he knew it was possible. So he had to try to get through to Laguna now.

“You don’t have to make anything right by me,” Squall said, trying to meet Laguna’s eyes, saw that they were too honest and raw, and dropped his gaze. One step at a time. “I don’t like dwelling on the past and on things I can’t change. Just…” and here Squall raised his gaze to Laguna’s once more. There was hurt there, but there was also the beginnings of hope. “Just be there for me from now on.”

“I will,” Laguna answered immediately, as if nothing would please him more.

Squall relaxed. It seemed that finally, _he_ was finally able to do right by Laguna.


	2. Chapter 2

Squall walked through the now familiar halls of the Esthar Presidential House. True to his word, Laguna had been there for him in the form of frequent phone calls, emails, and the regular visits. Those were the sorts of things that Squall had initially thought would put him off. But when the awkwardness wore off, he found that he quite enjoyed them. It was nice to speak with someone who wasn’t SeeD, or from the Garden, or was asking him as a commander. Laguna rarely lets a week go by without dropping by Balamb or inviting Squall over, but for the past couple of weeks, Laguna had been very busy in Esthar.

He stopped in front of Laguna’s office and pressed the button outside the door. Although Laguna had told him the code weeks ago, he was still hesitant to just enter Laguna’s offices. He waited for the beep that let him know the lock was released before entering.

Laguna was seated at his desk. Although Esthar was very much advanced technologically, they still used paper for official documents. And now these pieces of paper were making a nice big pile in front of Laguna.

“Squall, how was the trip? Are you hungry? Tired?” As usual, Laguna had managed to ask three questions (sometimes more) before Squall could even say ‘hi’.

“I’m fine,” Squall answered, which basically covered everything.

“Good. I’m sorry I still have to finish just a little bit more. But wait, maybe I can just leave this off for tomorrow…” Laguna trailed off, now more talking to himself as he deliberated.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be here,” Squall said, trying to reassure Laguna. While it’s true that they have grown more comfortable in the past weeks, the man still had the tendency to apologize too much for just about anything he thinks takes time (no matter how small) away from Squall.

Even so, Laguna apologized once more, saw to it that Squall was comfortably settled on the couch, and with a still awkward pat on his shoulder, went back to working at top speed. Squall took the opportunity to watch Laguna in peace, which was a rarity. When they were together, they were always doing something or talking about something. There was still a nervous energy around Laguna whenever they were together, like he was trying to make up for lost time by trying to fill all blank spaces with activities.

The rhythmic sound of Laguna’s pen moving across the paper was a soothing sound against the silence in the room and Squall burrowed more deeply into the cushions. It had been a long day and a long trip. He closed his eyes for a bit. Judging from the pile, Laguna won’t be done soon.

Laguna signed the paper in front of him with a flourish. This would be the last one for tonight. He would deal with the rest of the papers tomorrow morning, yes, all of them, he promises himself mentally. He looked over to where Squall was seated across the room, Squall’s name on his tongue dying unsaid when he realizes that Squall had fallen asleep.

“Oh,” he said instead, because even in the best circumstances he doesn’t know how to shut up. Squall stirred a bit. Laguna clapped his hand over his mouth, hoping it will get the signal to please not make a sound. He should’ve given the signal to his feet instead, which knocked into the table leg when he tried to stand up.

The dull thud woke Squall up in an instant, his soldier’s instincts reacting quickly, hand reaching for his weapon before his eyes were fully open. He blinked confusedly at first, reorienting himself and focusing on Laguna looking sheepishly at him.

“Sorry,” Laguna apologized. Squall shook his head and settled back. Laguna walked with a wincing hop and sat gratefully beside him on the couch. “I didn’t want to wake you but er, the table got in the way.” Laguna looked at Squall’s face cautiously, expecting, well maybe some disappointment at having such a clumsy dad but seeing none except something that looks suspiciously like amusement.

“Let’s have a look,” Squall said.

“Um, what?” Laguna asked intelligently.

“Your leg.”

“Oh, yes, right. Of course.” Yes, that was a definite up-quirk at the corner of Squall’s lips.

Squall pressed gently on the reddening mark. Laguna resolutely did not make any noise, although he did give a manly wince.

“That’ll bruise. I’ll get you some ice.” Squall stood up and walked to the mini fridge that Laguna keeps in his office. He returned with a few ice cubes wrapped in his handkerchief.

“Sorry,” Laguna said as Squall pressed the ice against his leg. He was supposed to be taking care of Squall while he’s here, not the other way around. He squirmed against the cold touch to his forming bruise. Squall’s eyes flicked up to meet his.

“…Stop that,” Squall said quietly. Laguna stilled and held his breath for good measure. Squall rolled his eyes.

“I don’t mean that. I meant stop apologizing all the time.”

Laguna dropped Squall’s gaze which was hard to hold under normal circumstances, but doubly so in their current proximity and inside the silence of the late hour.

“…Sorry,” he said almost automatically. He winced as soon as he said it. The silence was palpable. He dared a glance at Squall’s face, which had a stern look on it that reminded him of one of his former commanders when he’d done something wrong, and oh, right.

“Sorry for…saying sorry, ow!” Laguna exclaimed when Squall pressed the ice hard against his bruise.

Squall raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sorry.”

“You should be,” Laguna groused. “Honestly, it’s not like I mean to do it…”

Squall gentled his touch, and Laguna was treated to one of Squall’s rare smiles. It always catches Laguna off guard; he can never tell when it’s coming or what causes it. If he did, he would happily dedicate all of his efforts on doing it again and again because it is a gift to see that look on Squall’s face. He knows he’s probably giving a goofy smile right back at Squall.

After that, it was surprisingly easy to fall into their familiar back-and-forth (and how awesome is it that they have something they can call “familiar” now?), with Laguna doing practically 90% of the talking, which doesn’t mean to say that Squall’s contribution was less important. Their conversation, despite the familiarity, is still like a house of cards and Laguna’s clumsily building it up but without Squall’s solidity and his nudging at the right places, it would all fall down.

**Author's Note:**

> I still haven't decided if I'm going to continue this story, although if I do, it's going to be Laguna and Squall in a relationship, and not as father and son. So I'm just leaving an early warning here just in case.


End file.
